10 things

This used to be my blog. And I used to write random thoughts or things about me. I still do sometimes but not very often. It has become mostly about Emi, which is fine with me. She's more interesting than I am anyway! But I thought it would be fun to write 10 things you may or may not know about me.

1. I hate scented deodorant. I can't stand smelling it throughout the day. For some reason it just really grosses me out, it doesn't matter what scent it is. I HAVE to have unscented deodorant.
2. I am for the most part super clean and organized at work and the opposite at home. I mean, my house is not usually DIRTY, but it is usually cluttered. I hate it. Every time we clean the house I say to Adam, "I love this. Let's keep it like this FOR REALS this time!" But I never do. It always gets away from me. At work though, I keep things pretty clean and organized. I think it's because of my fear of something getting lost at the bottom of a pile, only to uncover it months later to find it was something URGENT that never got done.
3. I fell in love in Paris...but just with the city itself. That semester was one of the most pivotal times in my life. I was unsure and scared beyond belief at the beginning and then as I made amazing friends and fell in love with the city and culture and began to really figure out who I was and I what I could decide to do in my own life...things changed for me. I don't think I fully appreciated it all until it was over and I was suddenly home. But I will always look back on that time in my life as one of the very best for so many reasons. Thanks again to L5 for being a huge part of that! I love you girls!!!!
4. I wish I could sing. Like open my mouth and belt out something beautiful like Lea Michele. I have ALWAYS wished that. I remember when I was little and I would sometimes think about what I would wish for if I were ever granted 3 wishes. I'm pretty sure 2 of the wishes would change every time but one of them would always be that I would wish I could sing beautifully. I have always loved music for as long as I can remember and I just wish I could sound great while singing along to my favorite songs!
5. I used to always say I was going to date someone for at least a year before getting engaged. No matter what. Lots of people would tell me that I would change my mind once I met that person. I would get so mad...like, don't tell me what I will or won't do! If it's important to me then I will do it, and if the person really loves me then they won't mind! It must have been because I dated lots of jerks and I just didn't trust guys or believe that I could REALLY genuinely know someone well enough to marry them in a short amount of time. I also just thought it could be really good for the start of a marriage if we had known and dated each other for a while so that there would be fewer surprises and less to get used to. That was all before I met Adam. And I did have to eat my words. But before Adam I had never gone out with anyone who was so real right from the start. The pattern had always been meet, go out, have fun, date for a few months, find out what they're really like, say goodbye! But with Adam things were so refreshingly different. And I found I didn't need that extra time. I knew who he was right away. There were no games. In a matter of a few weeks I knew I loved him and in a matter of a few months I was ready to commit to marry him. So I was wrong about that but in a good way!
6. I want to start my own business someday. Well I have kind of started one, but it has sort of been on hold since having Emi since I am still working full time at my regular job. There hasn't been a lot of time for businesses on the side. But someday I will do it. I'm not sure what it will be yet but I am determined that it will happen.
7. I have the best in-laws EVER! I seriously used to be scared that I would end up marrying into a family that I just didn't fit into (probably because I dated several guys in a row whose mothers really disliked me...I know, right? I so did not think I was THAT girl). But my in-laws are so awesome. It took like no time at all for me to feel just like a part of the family and that I belonged with them. I love how they were so accepting and welcoming of me and all of my girly-ness and lack of brother experience. Marc and Doug were so kind as to quickly initiate me into the world of having brothers though (no additional details needed). They are all so great and I love having more parents, another sister and brothers I never had but always wanted!
8. I drank alcohol on my 21st birthday. But it was an accident...sort of. We were in Paris at my host family's house. They told me to invite some friends over for a birthday dinner. I invited L5 and I think Mark (the only guy in our group) was there too? My host parents had previously asked me what I wanted to drink for my special dinner. They had hosted several BYU students before and we had already been staying with them for 2 months so they knew that we didn't drink alcohol. They would usually have red wine every night with dinner and Rach and I would have water. So when they asked me what I wanted for the party and then suggested Coke and apple cider, I figured that would be good. And I LOVE apple cider, so naturally I thought it would be even better in France...what wouldn't right? So there we were at dinner and I filled my little glass up with French apple cider. But Kristyn took a drink before I did and noticed that something was WRONG with the apple cider. She said, "ummm..." but I don't think I quite picked up on it. I took a sip of mine and immediately realized what she meant. It tasted...off. Weird. I had never tasted alcohol before but it wasn't that hard to figure out that this apple cider was not the Martinelli's I drank every year on Thanksgiving at my grandma's. But I didn't know what to do. They had asked me if I wanted apple cider like a week before and I had said yes. They had bought this especially for my birthday celebration. I weighed the options in my head. I don't drink alcohol and I feel strongly about that. But I also am very much a people-pleaser by nature and take great care not to offend others or create awkward situations. My host mother only spoke French and I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to explain that even though there was only a small percentage of alcohol in the cider, that I didn't feel like I should drink it. So what did I do? I closed my eyes, chugged the cider and then filled my glass with Coke. I know it was wrong and I didn't enjoy it. It was really disgusting. And I did feel a little buzzed afterward. It was weird. I'm pretty sure I repented...I hope I did! But it sure made for an interesting 21st birthday story!
9. I never used to be shy. I really don't think I was shy at all in elementary or really even in junior high. I have tried for a long time to figure out when it started. Maybe sometime in high school? I'm not sure. I think it went along with when I started to lose some self-confidence. Lots of times I just think people would not care to meet me or be friends with me (sad, I know) so I just don't make efforts to get to know people. Fear of rejection I guess. I am afraid that lots of time it makes me look like a brat, but I'm really not! So, because of this I don't feel like I have lots of friends. I have probably missed out on a lot of good friendships because of this. So it's definitely something I need to work on. But what I really meant to write for this one is that I do feel like I have been blessed in my life with quite a few REALLY GOOD friends. And when I somehow get to that point with people, then the shyness goes away and I can really be me. And I really appreciate the people that I can be me with. When I am able to open up and be me and really connect with people then I feel like we are friends forever. I am a fiercely loyal person and try to keep my friends close, even though most of them live far away. And I think (I REALLY hope) that all of my friends know how much I really love them, because they mean a lot to me.
10. I have always wanted to be a mom. I haven't always known the exact number of kids I wanted to have or what I wanted to name them all, but I have ALWAYS wanted to have kids and have a family of my own. It's hard to imagine what it's going to be like to have a family when you're single and dating people that you can't really imagine yourself having a future with. But when you find that person that is your whole world and marry them for time and all eternity it starts to take shape. And then when you have your first child and you can't even remember what yesterday was like before she was part of your life...it's so crazy and amazing. And tonight while we had family prayer before putting Emi to bed I thought about how awesome it's going to be in a few more years when our family is complete and we just get to continue to get to know each other and grow together as a family. I really can't wait.

Well this got longer than I meant for it to, but I had fun writing it. Thanks for reading it if you made it to the end!


By the way...are people fans of Jason Reeves? I just found his music and listened to it as I was writing this. It is so calming and beautiful. I really like him.